Thursday, October 4, 2007


I almost caved in. Okay, I did cave in, but only one.

In the few days I have stuck these patches on me, I have digested plenty calories.

Work birthday party:

“Come on Didi, have another!” (Krispy Kreme donut)
“Go on! Try the chocolate.”

Everything is starting to taste different. Normal. Nicer.

I have also retired to bed earlier, not to think about the ordeal that can grip me like it does in the few intervals throughout the day.

“Why didn’t you call me back, Didi?”
“I was busy.”
“Do you want to see Hairspray?”
“Um. I’m trying to quit smoking and I’m focusing on that.”

He wasn’t that exciting, and he’s a smoker. Is it wrong to distance myself from that?

It’s all about finding things to do. Substituting the cigarettes with other things. Things that I need to make time for. Example: the gym. My schedule is currently over-the-top, but since I have been on these sticky patches, I have been waking up earlier each day. There is hope.

It is not enough the food being a battle……

There is a positive in all this. I am hopeful in this first step to eradicate toxic nicotine. The other thing: I think I have over-masturbated with my Rabbit.

Is there such a thing?


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